survive aa

How to Survive the AA Meetings Long Enough to Achieve Sobriety

Posted by admin on August 17, 2014
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We attended an AA meeting yesterday in the Western Suburbs and it was a doozy – as far as a sobriety rating goes it’s at the bottom of the barrel. The chairperson claiming 30 years sobriety and still has no idea how to chair a meeting properly. She called people with no sobriety and, not alcoholics, Instead she left sober people sitting there and she didn’t recognise any difference.aa_meeting

She called a sexual predator to speak and he’s not an alcoholic. He went on to brag from the floor that he was a thief and said he steals because, we are alcoholics. Thieving in sobriety is not sobriety and alcoholics are not thieves or criminals.

Before becoming sober AA members can not consciously distinguish the different between the types of people who regularly frequent AA meetings. Non alcoholics go to AA meetings for all sorts of reasons. They tell short-termers to believe that everyone is the same who attends the meetings but everyone is not the same. Not at all.

Many people frequent AA meetings for all sorts of reasons and unfortunately sobriety is not one of them. Alcoholics go for only one reason, and that’s sobriety. This difference causes a lot of damage to the people who go hoping to find answers to a genuine alcohol problem.

Chairing An AA Meeting

A chairperson can make a mistake by calling a non alcoholic however the damage can be minimized if they realizes the mistake and if they know who they are calling beforehand. This way a chairperson can minimize mistakes on who they are calling to speak.

Things were so different to the old days when new AA members had older sober members (OSM) to keep the nutters in check. They would point out the wrongs a non alcoholic spruik from the floor of AA meetings. The chairperson at yesterdays meeting instead didn’t recognise that someone with sobriety was offering good advice and instead she apologied to a (one) newcomer for interruptions by the OSM

Her disturbing remark of an OSM’s point of view, was that she hopes the disruption doesn’t deter them from coming back. Unfortunately she’s not smart enough to realize that many newcomers/short-termers have not come back due to the many nutters like this one, and that she was defending.

Facts are that 99.99% of people attend AA only once and they do not come back. That’s even though there is generally no interruptions from OSM’s or anyone else who may be offering advice or talking sense.

If someone gets up to talk and it is consistant of them talking about steps and saying that, we need to do this and we need to do that – then it is the duty of an older sober member (OSM) to intervene and to tell the person speaking to either tell their own story – or to sit down and let someone who needs to tell their story That consists of what it was like. what happened, and what it is like now.

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AA and How It Doesn’t Work

Posted by admin on July 12, 2014
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Alcoholics are trying to get sober in AA by working steps and it doesn’t work. The success rate is nil but they keep telling a new lot that come in the same thing that sent the last lot to their grave. They come to AA and listen to the spiritualists by praying and working steps for sobriety. Instead of this helping them it puts the alcoholics head in the past. That’s where it is when they are drinking and so it’s not long before they are drinking again and not going to AA.

This happens to them because they start working steps and praying for sobriety:drunk_women

They become stuck in the past and this knocks their confidence in what they are doing in their day to day life in the here and now. Alkies will identify with that awful perturbing situation of being happy and positive one minute and negative and hating life the next. This is because they have shunted from a positive, head in today state, to a negative past thinking pattern – that only another sober alkie can get them out of. Sober alcoholics in AA are the only ones who will understand what has happened to them and they also recognise when this is happening to them, at the time.

It is a bit like when kids thinks that if they keep crying they will get something that they want. This works when you are a helpless baby but as you grow you learn different strategies of behaving and thinking that work better for getting what we want. We develop better strategies for different situations we are in, as we grow up.

In a similar scenario, an alkie is stuck with the thinking and strategies he learned while drinking. That is because he had surrounded himself with others like himself, and when he gets off the alcohol that same way of thinking is all he knows. Until he gets sober.

Until then he only has the old thinking to rely on and it is completely inappropriate for sober living. He is like Rip Van Winkle waking up from a long sleep in which he is in a world that has changed and he is completely out of step.

The alkie early on in sobriety only has the drinking strategies as a way of thinking and it takes time for him to get sober. This is done by living in the day, and doing it a day at a time. He needs time to learn to deal with life in a sober manner and to deal with it at the time life is happening.

He needs to be with sober people to get the help he needs to show him how to lay down the new thinking patterns and how the new strategies work so that they are then able to use the new strategies when future situations arises. They then replace the old way of thinking with a new sober way of thinking and behaving.

This learning can not be achieved by working steps and praying for sobriety. This will only send them nuts and back to drinking. This always happens after they have been flogging themselves to death with working steps and praying like a praying mantis. They then go back to drink again. Also very few get a second chance at coming back to AA and they die.

While getting sober in AA and while they are still not sober they will only have the old strategies of the past as a way of thinking. They need time to learn that all they have to do is ask sober people. Let them do their thinking for them in the beginning.

Problem is however that now very few sober people are around in AA these days! Working steps for sobriety has caused a huge gap in sobriety in AA because people are not staying sober. The vacuum has been filled with people coming to AA who are not alcoholics and do not understand what it takes to get one sober.

Alcoholics do not have a base as in having grown up and matured when they first arrive in AA. They only have the mad ideas, in most cases of a teenager who has been pickled and learned everything they know from black and white movies and from the other drunks in the pub.

So, they do not have the maturity to understand their past. They have no ability to pick a goodie from a baddie. Its a bit like if someone smiles at them they presume they are nice people and if they grimace they are bad.

They need time to get sober. This means to get sane and to mature. To grow up and this can only happen by walking away from what kept them drunk both physically and mentally and they need to learn to live in the day, by dealing with life on a daily basis.

They need the help of someone who has got out of the hole themselves. Someone who can show them how to do the same. Thereby laying down new foundation of information in their memories. New foundations that will work for them rather than them using the old information that kept them drunk and it did not work for them anyway.

Religion and God are a personal thing. It has a different perception for everybody and everyone has their own personal understanding and belief in what God is.  It stands to reason therefor that if everybody is talking about a different perception then this type of thinking has no place in AA for alcoholics wanting to get sober – how can it?

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12 Steps of AA – Do They Work ?

Posted by admin on September 12, 2013
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Janine is a heavy drinker and not an alcoholic. She said, but I am not so sure she’s not. In an article she said,  AA killed her marriage

Now why then does she blame AA for killing her marriage? – Is it because:

* Her husband stopped drinking with AA, ..or because
* He went to regular AA meetings, …or is it because…

* He started working the 12 steps of AA
* In the article its stated that, he had a personality change and apparently the change was not for the better – in her opinion. Instead she states, We simply could not live together, because when people do get sober, they change radically.aa_survival_2

Well of course alcoholics change radically if they have an opportunity to get sober. It’s obvious that Bruno attending AA meetings and staying out of the old environment does not suite Janine. She instead wants him to be drinking.

Once Bruno stops drinking he will start to get sober. It takes 5 to 7 years. He will then becomes the person he wanted to be before alcohol took control of his life.

Oh, and it’s important to note that he will still be exciting.  That is to someone who loved him and not just his pay packet and unpredictable lifestyle. The right person is not another drunk in his life. He will die if he stays with her if she is drinking.

Facts are obviously not important to Janine. Instead it’s all about her, and what she wants. Basically she doesn’t want to lose her drinking partner.  Signs that she is an alcoholic as well. Her story about Bruno is that, He started to drink to numb the fear, the pain…

That excuse simply does not cut it. Alcoholics drink because they are alcoholics and don’t need any other reason. And when they are ready they must go to AA if they want to get sober. they do this by telling their own story, not have it told by someone else. When getting sober he simply can not afford to be in a relationship with someone who is drinking. An alcoholic must get out of the old environment for him to survive AA and to get sober.

Janine states Bruno wants to get sober and she’s wrong in her belief as to why alcoholics need to get sober by attending AA. meetings. It is known that health reasons alone will not stop them drinking alcohol. Facts are that when drinking they have no choice but to drink unless they are going to AA. This is one of the differences between drug addicts and alcoholics. Addicts take drugs because they choose to and once an alcoholic starts to drink he continues because he has to. He can not stay stoped for any length of time unless he attends AA meetings. Also if he does not stop drinking fairly quickly he will die. AA is the only thing known that has results with getting people sober.

Janine said she, was the girl with the broken wing, Possibly she needs to considered the possibility that she is an alcoholic as well.

If not then he did need to leave her, for his own good. The older sober members (OSM) of AA call people like her a, lame duck. (she obviously has something wrong with her) Something else wrong besides an alcohol problem. It’s strongly advised that anyone wanting to get sober in AA can not afford to have lame ducks around them.

Her article is about his problem however we can assume SHE continued to drink after Bruno stopped drinking and started attending AA meetings. Well then, of course she wouldn’t fit in with his new sober friends. She does she say she even slows down her drinking during this time.

Still drinking while Bruno is trying to stay sober. No wonder the marriage broke down. Also note in her article she still associated with the drunks of the past and she actually criticizes Bruno for not wanting to do the same.

Janine’s complaint is not the fault of AA. Her readers who didn’t know better would be inclined to believe her when she said that, AA killed her marriage, Instead of knowing that it is her, continuing to drink that killed the marriage.

Janine said, He was drinking every single night, not sleeping and sinking into a hopeless depression, the result of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder… before he attended AA meetings.

She doesn’t recognise that he is sober due to AA. The issues he has other then alcoholism is not the concern of AA members. They are not equipped to deal with health problems that are not AA related, such as, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, due to the war.

Janine did admit Bruno is successful at not drinking due to him attending AA meetings. She then said he also began working the 12 steps of AA.

Interesting to note she doesn’t say anything against him working steps. We are to assume she thinks that’s okay. On the other hand if she said this is when the problem started, this would be understandable, but she doesn’t say his working the 12 steps was any sort of a problem.

Instead she said, I went to an AA Christmas party, and while everyone was friendly and welcoming, it was clear they set a wall between ‘us and them. What would Janine be doing at an AA function if she was not an alcoholic? And what kind of wall? Is her problem that AA people were not drinking alcohol? I

If she’s not complaining about him working steps, then what is the complaint?

Let it be known that sober alcoholics are normal people. They do not have a wall between themselves and normal people in society. They do on the other hand learn that they must avoid nutters who drink. She obviously fits this category.

She is complaining her husband chooses not to associate with her friends who are drunks. Then she says this killed her marriage along with him attending Alcoholics Anonymous.

She states she is not an alcoholic but yet she would rather her marriage fall apart then to give up alcohol herself. Obviously she would rather be in a smelly saloon bar. The pubs and bars are the smelly and rough places, not the church halls she says are smelly and where AA meetings are held.

She really is delusional and in denial of her own drinking problems.

 

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