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Women’s Meeting Has No Sobriety: Want to stay Alive?

Posted by admin on April 07, 2017
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Women’s meetings have no sobriety and I’ll tell you why. First though I want to make something clear. A primary in this article is someone allergic to alcohol, not addicted. Many times in media drug addicts are spoken about in the same context as a problem with alcohol but they are two very different kinds of people, different kind of a relationship. A drug addict is not allergic to drugs they are addicted.

Primary’s are allergic to alcohol and can’t drink it and is why they end up at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Can’t drink one drop or it sets up a compulsion, in the brain. The compulsion is to have more of what they are allergic to and so can’t have it. Drugs affect the body, like it’s a physical thing. It’s different to what happens to a Primary who is allergic to alcohol.

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Women’s Meetings

In very early days for me it was advised to not go to women’s meetings. This happened after I had already been to one and spoke about the ‘funny’ experience. Weird not funny.  Older Sober Members (OSM’s) said not to go to these meetings. One reason being that when getting sober we need to learn to mix with both sexes. They explained that considering men were half the population we needed to learn to associate with them, as if out in the real world.

This makes sense, doesn’t it? One of the reason’s for not going to a women’s group is because there is a good chance you have a bad opinion of men. As men do feel the same about women and so men’s groups are not a good idea either. They need to learn to mingle and feel comfortable with the opposite sex as a part of getting sober.

Women’s Meeting Sponsor

Members have also heard of horrific happenings as a result of going to women’s meetings. One women Jo told how she went along to a women’s meeting and after a really depressing meeting, before leaving, she picked up a booklet from a table and was reading it. A women approached her. She said she would like to gift the booklet to Jo and that she will also become her sponsor.

She asked for Jo’s phone number and later that night the sponsor called asking for her help. Jo, the short-termer thinking it’s an emergency situation went to her aid. When she arrived at the sponsor’s place she was waiting outside and jumped into her car and told her to drive away quickly.

Jo the new member found herself in a situation of driving around with this sponsor women in her car. The sponsor explained a little on what her problem was. She said she lived with her parents and that they wanted to keep her locked up and that she didn’t like that situation.

Women’s No Sobriety as Sponsor

The sponsor was not a teenager, by the way. A women in her 30’s. While Jo was driving around not knowing where to go the sponsor pulled out a bottle of rum and started drinking it from the bottle in the back seat of Jo’s car. The sponsor vomited in her car as well. The sponsor also started mauling her while she was driving.

She thought she had no choice but to take the drunk women back to her place to sleep it off for the night. Jo’s invalid mother was bedridden and needed constant care and she was not impressed by the intrusion or the situation. The drunk sponsor played up so much before falling asleep that jo’s mother forbid her to go to AA meeting again or to associate with the people from AA.

Problem at a women’s meeting is there’s a large number of lesbians who frequent these meetings. People go there for relationships and not for sobriety. many are not alcoholics. They may still be seen to have a right to be at meetings because the 3rd Tradition of Alcoholics Anonymous says that: “The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.” The Tradition doesn’t even stipulate ‘drinking alcohol’ so it could be ‘drinking saltwater’ for all we know. This is the legacy that Bill Wilson left us in his quest to make ‘the program’ available to everyone. AA suffered because of his outside interests in making money from people getting sober.

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How To Find A Sponsor – Questions you need to ask to find an AA sponsor

Posted by admin on March 31, 2017
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To follow certain guidelines in choosing an AA sponsor is wise and is very important. Making a mistake really can be troublesome and it’s a matter of life and death. Even though it’s regularly spruked at meetings to, “get a sponsor” Telling people to do that is not really the right thing to do. Not unless you get lucky and find a good one.

Sobriety matters and it’s important to know that a sponsor will not get you sober. Knowing this then it’s wise to never put completefind a sponsor in aa meetings trust in that one person. Don’t assume like we do that a sponsor knows how to keep you sober. Many people have made that mistake. In fact there’s a 95% chance they can’t help you.

Worse then that they can be downright dangerous to sobriety. Best thing to do is find an AA group where they are keeping people like you sober. Doing this is a much better option then to find a sponsor. This way the group is your sponsor.

There are few groups that have success, unfortunately. The question then needs to be, Where did the sponsor get sober? AA is not AA as a whole, it’s a collection of groups and each group is autonomous. If a primary Alcoholic (someone allergic to alcohol) is sober enough to be a sponsor then there must have a history of him or her getting sober in AA. They didn’t get sober by accident. They would have to have known what they were doing to be still around.

The Group is Your Sponsor

To find a sponsor there needs to be careful consideration. Questions need to be asked of the prospective sponsor. They are:

  • How long are you sober? In the answer back make sure it is unbroken sobriety they have. Sometimes they forget they had a little drink during that time somewhere along the line. The question can often determine if they are making mistakes they haven’t picked up on.  It’s not wise to choose someone less then 7 years sober. That means from their last drink. Finding someone with over 10 years sobriety is preferred but much harder to do.
  • Ask where did you get sober? i.e. what group, what state, what country
  • Who are the sober members who helped you in that group, state, country, in your early days of getting sober? It’s important to check them out to see if they have stability. It’s like when you go for a job and need to show references and work history.
  • It’s wise to ask how many meetings do you do now – and how many did you do in the early days of you getting sober? This question can be confronting for people who haven’t done the distance and it may put them on a spot. That’s unfortunate however this is a matter of life and death for you to obtain the right sponsor. Most primary’s die before the age of 30 because they don’t get the help they need.
  • What type of group do they belong to? A primary s only interested in I.D. groups. I.D. is the only format of group that suit you. To identify. That means to: Tell your story of, What it was like (when drinking) What happened (how you got to aa) What it is like now (how long sober and what you’re doing to stay sober)
    Stay away from other so called AA groups. The meeting is in fact not an AA meeting unless it’s an I.D. meeting. Other 12 Step meetings may work for some people. People with all sorts of other problems attend but these are not AA meeting and the people are not Primary’s.
  • Make sure the sponsor is not spiritual. If this is what they rely on as information for you  then they will have you praying and working 12 Steps. This doesn’t work for you so don’t do any of that and especially don’t do a step 4. It is a deadly practice. Just stay on the first step. That is to be making your life manageable on a daily basis.

Get A Sponsor V Achieving Positive Results On Your Own.

To achieve positive results at AA meetings depends on doing the right things. Then doing it being duplicated. Once you are on track you will look at other people who are doing it differently and watch how they are going. Are they are getting better results them you. If so find out why.
In the meantime just follow instructions to Keep It Simple, stay on the first step. Once you start to settle down and achieve results then this is proof that the system you are on works. Change what you are doing will get different results. In my experience of teaching this to people do stay sober.

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Why The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous Doesn’t Work

Posted by admin on March 05, 2017
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12 Steps may work for many other 12 Step Programs. Work for people with all sorts of other problems but not for alcoholics (someone allergic to alcohol) that attend A A meetings on a regular basis.

The first step is the only one to be interested in. If you do this one daily all will be OK. To make your life 12 steps aamanageable daily . Then the other 11 steps fall into place automatically. Then there’s no need to worry YOU ARE DOING THE 12 STEPS. Don’t stress all is well.

 

After all it is ONLY about not drinking alcohol. That’s all. You also need to be happy about it. Never fear, without alcohol life is good. Life was not meant for artificial highs like alcohol. Without this illegal drug your life will be great. You will learn the experience of life. Learn how it was meant to be. You will live a life of natural highs and be happy. The same way people do who are not allergic to alcohol. You will not hear or read this information from mainstream media. Why? because of the advertisers. There’s to much money in it for them. Money from alcohol sales and from people wanting to get sober.

Here we explain each step so you will know why ‘working 12 steps’ after attending AA meetings needs to be avoided. You will learn why to void individually doing steps and why there are no results from doing them.

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – and that our lives had become unmanageable.

This is the only step out of the 12 that mentions alcohol. It’s the only one you need to be interested in. This step comes in two parts. The first part ‘We admitted we were powerless over alcohol‘ This is easy if already attending AA meetings. You have done the first part of the 1st Step. This happened when you walked through the doors of AA. Reason that is if alcohol was doing for us what we thought it was doing then AA is the last place to be going.

The second part of the first step is: ‘that our lives had become unmanageable’ If your life is unmanageable and alcohol has something to do with it then AA is the right place to be. To start making the life manageable, ON A DAILY BASIS. This means to not drink for that day. Go to a meeting and stay out of the old environment. That is not to associate with drinkers, or drug takers of the past. Make sure you eat properly and if you haven’t got a job get one. If you have got a job keep going. Don’t give it up. Stay till they sack you if that’s the way it is. It is the best option.

Life will change once you are on a track of getting sober. We are nice happy little people. It’s only alcohol that made us into people that we didn’t like. Let alone what anyone else thought. A person allergic to alcohol the victim of alcohol and not the perpetrator. You will not hear this said at AA meetings. They will talk about their defects of character. Say things like ‘we were liars’ or ‘we were selfish’ etc. many negative things. These people have no idea of the true nature of alcoholism.

12 Steps For A Primary Alcoholic is No Good When the Only Problem Is Alcohol.

Many of the people who frequent AA meetings will never get this. Because for whatever reason they don’t recognize it for what it is. More like they don’t want to recognize this simple fact. Why? One reason why is self interest. To have control over you. They can’t do this if you don’t believe you are sick.

Many who attend AA meetings are not alcoholics or secondary alcoholics at best. They in fact have something else wrong with them. They are not allergic to alcohol. Alcohol will never kill them. For them sobriety is not a matter of life and death. First impression when attending an AA meeting is that everyone is there for sobriety. Not true. Then why the hell would you attend AA meetings with sick people. Well, the reality is that many people attend for many and varied reasons. Some reasons are obvious and has briefly been explained here.

The people who don’t have sobriety to offer you are there to control you. They can only do this be having you pray and work steps for sobriety. They also control you by being your sponsor. They find out all about you this way and will have you working steps. Sobriety is not about that. Not at all. It’s not normal and it’s not a practical way of living. Especially not when all you need is to stop drinking alcohol and to get on with your life.

 

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