get sober

AA and How It Doesn’t Work

Posted by admin on July 12, 2014
A.A. / No Comments

Alcoholics are trying to get sober in AA by working steps and it doesn’t work. The success rate is nil but they keep telling a new lot that come in the same thing that sent the last lot to their grave. They come to AA and listen to the spiritualists by praying and working steps for sobriety. Instead of this helping them it puts the alcoholics head in the past. That’s where it is when they are drinking and so it’s not long before they are drinking again and not going to AA.

This happens to them because they start working steps and praying for sobriety:drunk_women

They become stuck in the past and this knocks their confidence in what they are doing in their day to day life in the here and now. Alkies will identify with that awful perturbing situation of being happy and positive one minute and negative and hating life the next. This is because they have shunted from a positive, head in today state, to a negative past thinking pattern – that only another sober alkie can get them out of. Sober alcoholics in AA are the only ones who will understand what has happened to them and they also recognise when this is happening to them, at the time.

It is a bit like when kids thinks that if they keep crying they will get something that they want. This works when you are a helpless baby but as you grow you learn different strategies of behaving and thinking that work better for getting what we want. We develop better strategies for different situations we are in, as we grow up.

In a similar scenario, an alkie is stuck with the thinking and strategies he learned while drinking. That is because he had surrounded himself with others like himself, and when he gets off the alcohol that same way of thinking is all he knows. Until he gets sober.

Until then he only has the old thinking to rely on and it is completely inappropriate for sober living. He is like Rip Van Winkle waking up from a long sleep in which he is in a world that has changed and he is completely out of step.

The alkie early on in sobriety only has the drinking strategies as a way of thinking and it takes time for him to get sober. This is done by living in the day, and doing it a day at a time. He needs time to learn to deal with life in a sober manner and to deal with it at the time life is happening.

He needs to be with sober people to get the help he needs to show him how to lay down the new thinking patterns and how the new strategies work so that they are then able to use the new strategies when future situations arises. They then replace the old way of thinking with a new sober way of thinking and behaving.

This learning can not be achieved by working steps and praying for sobriety. This will only send them nuts and back to drinking. This always happens after they have been flogging themselves to death with working steps and praying like a praying mantis. They then go back to drink again. Also very few get a second chance at coming back to AA and they die.

While getting sober in AA and while they are still not sober they will only have the old strategies of the past as a way of thinking. They need time to learn that all they have to do is ask sober people. Let them do their thinking for them in the beginning.

Problem is however that now very few sober people are around in AA these days! Working steps for sobriety has caused a huge gap in sobriety in AA because people are not staying sober. The vacuum has been filled with people coming to AA who are not alcoholics and do not understand what it takes to get one sober.

Alcoholics do not have a base as in having grown up and matured when they first arrive in AA. They only have the mad ideas, in most cases of a teenager who has been pickled and learned everything they know from black and white movies and from the other drunks in the pub.

So, they do not have the maturity to understand their past. They have no ability to pick a goodie from a baddie. Its a bit like if someone smiles at them they presume they are nice people and if they grimace they are bad.

They need time to get sober. This means to get sane and to mature. To grow up and this can only happen by walking away from what kept them drunk both physically and mentally and they need to learn to live in the day, by dealing with life on a daily basis.

They need the help of someone who has got out of the hole themselves. Someone who can show them how to do the same. Thereby laying down new foundation of information in their memories. New foundations that will work for them rather than them using the old information that kept them drunk and it did not work for them anyway.

Religion and God are a personal thing. It has a different perception for everybody and everyone has their own personal understanding and belief in what God is.  It stands to reason therefor that if everybody is talking about a different perception then this type of thinking has no place in AA for alcoholics wanting to get sober – how can it?

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Heavy Drinkers Have No Life Experiences When They Arrive In AA

Posted by admin on July 11, 2014
alcoholism / No Comments

Heavy drinkers usually arrive to support groups with no experience of life except for situations that drinking puts them in and of work related experiences, in many cases. This is because booze has such an effect on us that there is nothing else in our lives.  Alcohol generally has taken complete control and when we get to AA we need to, learn to live in the day. Learn to think positive. Learn how to manage life, bills, our accommodation, finding suitable work, getting along with people. We usually have no idea about life and most of us know it.

The alcoholic is not an idiot. He usually knows the problems he has where living is concerned, hence the terror at the prospect of living without right_way_wrong_way_signbooze, as most of us know, we have no idea how to do that.

Other people in AA who are not like the real alkie do not have this problem. They have had successful relationships before they crossed the thin red line. They talk about this in the meetings.

While alcohol has been an issue for them, they can pick up their old life when they stop drinking and carry on.

The women with sex problems who come to AA also can pick up on their old lifestyle by latching onto someone in AA (hopefully someone who is sober) to satisfy their needs. This is usually done in secret and they then live as a married person with an OSM. They virtually have their thinking done for them as far as thinking about, bills, accommodation, meals being ready for them when they come home from work and then to get to a meeting each night.

The real alkie who comes to AA to get sober as a single person seldom has anything to salvage from the past. Their partner, if they have one, is someone they met while drinking. Their partner married a drunk, and so will not even recognise them as a sober alkie. Not be recognised as the person they married but as someone different. This is a problem for the alkie. Usually the partner is also someone who drinks which means the sober alkie has to get out of their way. That is if they want to stay alive.

Old mates of the alkie likewise are generally drunks too. Who else but another drunk would put up with active alcoholism? With someone who’s life is in ruin and is run by alcohol?

These are very clear differences between the real alcoholic and the other people who come to AA. Alcoholics, to get sober, need to be managing their thinking on a minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day basis, until we have put enough days in to have picked up enough experience of living life without alcohol, to gain a bit of sober living experience.

That shows us that life can be good without drink and then if we continue to get sober and attend meetings we will gradually pick up the living experience we did not get while drinking. This then results in us becoming the people we would have been had we never drank. It’s as simple as that.

Alkies are not sexual predators, criminals, psychopaths, drug addicts and we are unlike any of these types that also find their way to AA and lets face it – they have a right to be there too as they are safer sober than drunk. The danger though is for the real alcoholic in AA because this information, that not all are alcoholics and there for the same reason is not out in the open and so they listen to people doing daily steps to keep their other urges under control. When the alkie like in the other articles on this blog  so rightly states. Alcoholics need to live in the day, and stay away from the past all together which is also the old environment.

There are no answers there for them and it is impossible for him/her to get sober while trying to be two people. Alcoholism is a mental thing for us and we are not mentally able to be the person we were and carry on old relationships with the past while getting sober and living a sober life.

Interestingly, it is now widely known in the world of psychology that retrospection does not solve any problems unless there is a cause to the issue – i.e. someone was abused as a kid, beaten up by their family – an issue that causes a particular reaction.  In this instance there may be some benefit in knowing the cause and replacing the pictures created in the mind so that a new reaction can occur.

This is not the situation for alkies coming to AA to get sober. Instead they need to learn a new way of thinking and not to be re-hashing the past when what happened to them happened because they were an alcoholic and it couldn’t have been any other way when they are drinking. This is because alcohol and so therefor other people are in control of their lives when they are drinking. By getting sober they need to learn to take control of their own lives, usually for the first time. Contrary to what the spiritualists will tell them to, ‘hand it over’

No different from when they were drinking so is why they do not survive long enough to get sober on this dud information.

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What It Means To Get Sober

Posted by admin on July 04, 2014
alcoholism / No Comments

To get sober the alcoholic needs to learn new thinking not re-hash the past  as what happens if they start working the 12 steps. The message “don’t drink, stay away from the old mates, pubs and clubs is so important to follow and this is basic information that is not told in AA meetings anymore.

It’s necessary to put AA first for staying sober and to mix with sober people who can help you on a daily basis.  This is key, to get new realizing-life-lessonsinformation/thinking solutions imbedded in your thinking and in your life. Not possibly achieved by working steps. Real answers are needed that work. Answers that come from other peoples experience of getting sober. The same issues again key here is only to be dealing with issues as they come up in day to day living.

Otherwise the alkie is overwhelmed with mad experiences from the past and will be trying to deal with too many issues at once. This means they cannot possibly live in the day so again the only alternative is to drink or go mad. Digging in the past for solutions is leading to drink. They need close support and encouragement on a daily basis is what works. Not flailing for character defects and selfishness – this does not work for anyone except for the people who want to make money from the alcoholic wanting to get sober. They make them into a constant winger who cannot get up from under his own feet and who has something to blame for their behaviour or worse, they blame themselves instead of blaming alcohol. An alcoholic taking this line will drink again. They cant not get a negative result as they are still living in the past and nothing has changed except that they have a new whipping stick .

I was told to put the stick away, get positive and see the facts. The facts that alcohol was the problem and to start fixing up my thinking on a daily basis. Done by simply doing the best that I could with what was available to me and by putting AA first. I needed to be sticking close to people who were getting sober and could help me deal with life as it happens. I had to be putting new thinking in place for real situations as they come up meaning this new information is there to build on and use for the future.

I had to get to meetings, stay away from the past and the old thinking. I had to mix with sober, happy, sane, and positive people. the people who have had a positive result from AA. It works by “attraction rather than promotion”.  Stay away from anyone looking for a spiritual high or position in AA. I have always avoided the people who recite the book, talk about “sponsees” – these people ought to get a life  – who wants to be king of the nut house – sometimes seems like a competition to see how many “sponsees” they can collect and they seem to take great joy in talking about the “sponsees” – whatever happened to anonymity?!.  These ‘sponsors’ have them praying for bad people and for the people they hate. They tell them to get on their hands and knees to do this and including other nonsense that has nothing to do with getting sober.

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AA Meetings and What You Must Do

Posted by admin on May 31, 2014
russell brand / 3 Comments

There are people in AA who stand up from the floor and say that there are no musts in AA.  This is so wrong! Alcoholics Must do AA meetings to survive.

They are the ones who have no idea about sobriety and who can not help you to get sober. On hearing them say this we must then ask, if they are not here for sobriety then why are they here at all ?  

To stay sober you MUST:                                                                                                 russell-brand-not-sober

1. Attend meetings on a regular basis

2. Stay out of the old environment

3. Stay on the first step

4. Stay away from god in AA

5. Identify with alcoholics who are like them and if they are sober and problem free then do what they are doing to get the same results

6. Join a group where they are keeping people sober. This is not an easy task.

Realise that not all people are in AA for sobriety. The people who are not are dangerous to someone wanting to get sober

Alcoholics die an early death because they are either wrongly diagnosed and/or they are not told the correct information they need to get sober. People like Russell Brand who are set up as ‘stars’ and someone who didn’t know any better would think they were an authority on a problem with alcohol. He is not.

He is also not an alcoholic and has not identified as one. He is a drug addict and as far as we know he also doesn’t have any sobriety. this alone indicates he is far from an expert on the problem of alcoholism. He is dangerous to anyone wanting help from alcoholism and who takes his advice. He may think he knows how to help someone but because he didn’t mention AA as a solution for alcoholics in his address here to the parliamentary committee then he is of no help at all. Don’t really know what his agenda is but it’s not in the pursuit of sobriety. On these grounds alone he is to be taken with a grain of salt.

Alcoholics MUST attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings on a daily basis if they are wanting to get sober from alcoholism

 

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He Really Did Survive An AA Cult

Posted by admin on October 11, 2013
alcoholism / 2 Comments

Here’s an article from someone who says he survived an AA cult. He said AA made his mental state much worse and I would agree with that. Such things do happen if you listen to those who tell you to pray and work steps for sobriety. Even so it appears that in the article the author has missed one very important point.

Point is that bad advice cult_meetingcan be given anywhere. Inside or outside of AA and it’s up to you as to whether you listen to bad advice or not.

We always need to check out who is giving the advice and check out if they have actually walked the talk themselves. Most likely they have not.

We all need to realise that there are people in AA who are not alcoholics but who are masquerading as alcoholics. And because of this they will affect you mentally if you listen to them and try to comprehend on matters of sobriety. They will definitely send you mad if you let them.

An example here how they give AA a bad name but it’s important to stay around in AA because it’s the only thing known where alcoholics have a chance at getting sober.

Some people who masquerade in AA instead have sex problems and are sexual predators. Others have come from different 12 step programs for all sorts of problems as well as the ones looking for easy prey for sex.

Predators in AA will tell short-termers (people new to AA) that they need to work steps. By doing this they have control over alcoholics and because they are not alcoholics themselves they do not have any proper information for them on how to stay sane and sober and on how to get sober.

Non alcoholics working steps has not cured their own problems or they wouldn’t be in AA looking for sick woman and/or men as easy pickings. The knowledge non alcoholics gather from other 12 step programs enables them to move into AA meetings incognito and where they then spruik on about working steps and praying for sobriety. What else would they talk about from the floor, they don’t have a drinking story?

Alcoholics are dumb in early sobriety and they are more than likely to think that all people in AA are genuine, are alcoholics, and that they know something about sobriety. Not true, many don’t know a thing about sobriety. Instead it’s important to recognise that AA is just a collection of what is outside. Think of AA as a mini world of all the types of people outside AA.

Most people in society are looking for opportunities of some sort. AA is no different. If you don’t believe this then I would suggest that possibly you are delusional. Alcohol is a delusive drug and so it’s more then likely you’re affected.

The lesson is to learn to recognise the nutters. Recognise them as different from the alcoholics who mostly are only trying to stay sober and alive. A short-termer must learn how to sort the oats from the chaff, and in this way it becomes much easier to do outside of AA.

Alcoholics must learn to dodge the mugs in AA so that hopefully you are in a better position to control of your life outside AA. Done by controlling who comes into your orbit that may affect your stability. This process of recognising mugs is a must when attending AA meetings. Once you’re on a track of getting sober looking after yourself becomes easier.

If you can’t find an AA group with older sober members (OSM) in it who are keeping people sober then stay away from them all who frequent AA. If they can’t offer you sobriety then they have nothing for you. AA is not a social club, it’s about chasing sobriety. It’s not about making friends, or shaking hands with everyone. Why do they do that?

Stick to yourself in AA meetings and always be seeking out the principles of getting sober, i.e. how to grow further away from the last drink of alcohol. What anyone says to you that you have to do has to make sense to you. It is not stinkin’ thinkin’ to question what is said to you, as is suggested in the article. Instead alcoholics need common sense answers to common problems associated with alcohol. Don’t accept cliches as an answer. OSM will not fob you off with cliches.

Also once in AA the OSM will tell you not to go near doctors for at least the first 2 years in sobriety. This is because alcoholics are very easily wrongly diagnosed by doctors – and because of this they are often put on psyche medication by mistake – and when all that is needed is for them to be giving themselves time to become sober. An alcoholic can not get sober if he is wrongly diagnosed and put on medication.

The time taken to get properly sober is 5 to 7 years, and this is if they do everything right during that time. This time span is proven many years ago by the OSM of AA to be correct. It was also proven by Dr Sylvester Minogue who helped alcoholics for decades to get sober in AA. He helped them right up until just before he died in the 1970’s. He knew what he was doing. He was a psychiatrist, and a specialist who had his practice in Macquarie Street, Sydney. He was also an alcoholic and a mighty great man with a heart of gold.

Now-a-days because no one is getting sober it takes longer than 7 years to get sober and that is even if you are lucky enough to find someone sober enough to help you in the first place. The 7 year time span could on first impression easily be considered a sentence. That is if not thought through properly why it is so. It is not a sentence. If questioned the OSM will explain it’s time needed to give yourself to become, the person you would have become if not for alcohol.

The time period is taken for changing and the changing is for the better. The improving continues forever for sober alcoholics, but at a slower rate after they are sober.

The story in the link is unfortunate but is also typical of the wrong information that’s getting around AA. Predators do not only frequent AA meetings, they are everywhere out there in society as well. This is fact.

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