alcoholics anonymous

Women’s Meeting Has No Sobriety: Want to stay Alive?

Posted by admin on April 07, 2017
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Women’s meetings have no sobriety and I’ll tell you why. First though I want to make something clear. A primary in this article is someone allergic to alcohol, not addicted. Many times in media drug addicts are spoken about in the same context as a problem with alcohol but they are two very different kinds of people, different kind of a relationship. A drug addict is not allergic to drugs they are addicted.

Primary’s are allergic to alcohol and can’t drink it and is why they end up at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Can’t drink one drop or it sets up a compulsion, in the brain. The compulsion is to have more of what they are allergic to and so can’t have it. Drugs affect the body, like it’s a physical thing. It’s different to what happens to a Primary who is allergic to alcohol.

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Women’s Meetings

In very early days for me it was advised to not go to women’s meetings. This happened after I had already been to one and spoke about the ‘funny’ experience. Weird not funny.  Older Sober Members (OSM’s) said not to go to these meetings. One reason being that when getting sober we need to learn to mix with both sexes. They explained that considering men were half the population we needed to learn to associate with them, as if out in the real world.

This makes sense, doesn’t it? One of the reason’s for not going to a women’s group is because there is a good chance you have a bad opinion of men. As men do feel the same about women and so men’s groups are not a good idea either. They need to learn to mingle and feel comfortable with the opposite sex as a part of getting sober.

Women’s Meeting Sponsor

Members have also heard of horrific happenings as a result of going to women’s meetings. One women Jo told how she went along to a women’s meeting and after a really depressing meeting, before leaving, she picked up a booklet from a table and was reading it. A women approached her. She said she would like to gift the booklet to Jo and that she will also become her sponsor.

She asked for Jo’s phone number and later that night the sponsor called asking for her help. Jo, the short-termer thinking it’s an emergency situation went to her aid. When she arrived at the sponsor’s place she was waiting outside and jumped into her car and told her to drive away quickly.

Jo the new member found herself in a situation of driving around with this sponsor women in her car. The sponsor explained a little on what her problem was. She said she lived with her parents and that they wanted to keep her locked up and that she didn’t like that situation.

Women’s No Sobriety as Sponsor

The sponsor was not a teenager, by the way. A women in her 30’s. While Jo was driving around not knowing where to go the sponsor pulled out a bottle of rum and started drinking it from the bottle in the back seat of Jo’s car. The sponsor vomited in her car as well. The sponsor also started mauling her while she was driving.

She thought she had no choice but to take the drunk women back to her place to sleep it off for the night. Jo’s invalid mother was bedridden and needed constant care and she was not impressed by the intrusion or the situation. The drunk sponsor played up so much before falling asleep that jo’s mother forbid her to go to AA meeting again or to associate with the people from AA.

Problem at a women’s meeting is there’s a large number of lesbians who frequent these meetings. People go there for relationships and not for sobriety. many are not alcoholics. They may still be seen to have a right to be at meetings because the 3rd Tradition of Alcoholics Anonymous says that: “The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.” The Tradition doesn’t even stipulate ‘drinking alcohol’ so it could be ‘drinking saltwater’ for all we know. This is the legacy that Bill Wilson left us in his quest to make ‘the program’ available to everyone. AA suffered because of his outside interests in making money from people getting sober.

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Alcoholics Anonymous, and the Two Hat Wearer

Posted by admin on March 20, 2017
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There are two ways at trying to get sober in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). The right way and the wrong way. One way works and the other doesn’t. Unfortunately the way that works is not the most popular way these days. Although it once was. Now a strange situation has arose where the majority are doing it the wrong way. Just to confuse it a little more there is also the Two Hat Wearer. These people change their opinion to suite the situation – or when they are cornered and have to be seen as rational.

alcoholics anonymous and the two hat wearer

The name of the game is staying sober and everything else is irrelevant. A fact that eludes the spiritualists and step workers who frequent AA meetings.

It may sound crazy to a logical thinker that something that doesn’t work is more popular then something that does. Unfortunately logical thinking is not a high attribute to many people attending AA meetings. They frequent AA meetings for varied reasons and sobriety isn’t one of them. They are what we can call predators. They use the malfunction to their advantage. Like any predator does.

It’s illogical to attend AA meetings to pray and work steps. Especially illogical when it doesn’t work. Not for a victim of alcohol who is a primary (someone allergic to alcohol) They come and are told to do ‘the program’

If they’re a primary they will not last and drink again. They leave AA and die. Then another lot come in to take their place. They are told to do the same. The same thing that sent the last lot to the bone yard. Told by people who’s primary purpose is not sobriety.

Stay Sober Without Working Steps

The step workers tell a short-termer (someone new) to stay away from the people who are staying sober and doing it easy.  The consensus of following such dud advice is that they don’t stay sober.

Can Primary’s be happy not drinking? Of course they can – if they do AA meetings and stay away from the first drink. The sober people tell short-termers to stay away from step-workers and spiritualists. Because they simply don’t keep anyone sober.

They say they pray and work steps. They are liars. It’s madness to live that way and it will send people mad. They go mad then have no choice but to drink again. It’s the only thing that will settle the head down.

Unfortunately the sobriety situation is no better when they go to so called ‘professional people’ Like counselors, social workers, detox centres etc. Their customer base is people who are desperately wanting help with an alcohol allergy. They instead are treated like drug addicts. They will end up committing suicide. There’s no other way out.

The Two Hat Wearer

The two hat wearers go to steps groups and spiritual groups and be spiritual for some situations and then go to ID groups. They agree that an alkie can get sober on the first step. They will say they are not spiritualists when attending ID groups. Not being spiritual means they operate on the first step only.

A two hat wearer will be someone else also in AA. It’s mainly a women who is in a secret relationship with an older sober member (OSM) While in the relationship they will say they are getting sober as a single person. This simply is not true. It’s dangerous and it’s deceptive. The single member has a different set of rules and problems to ‘married’ people getting sober.

The person deceiving their group members in this way is called a two hat wearer.

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Why The 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous Doesn’t Work

Posted by admin on March 05, 2017
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12 Steps may work for many other 12 Step Programs. Work for people with all sorts of other problems but not for alcoholics (someone allergic to alcohol) that attend A A meetings on a regular basis.

The first step is the only one to be interested in. If you do this one daily all will be OK. To make your life 12 steps aamanageable daily . Then the other 11 steps fall into place automatically. Then there’s no need to worry YOU ARE DOING THE 12 STEPS. Don’t stress all is well.

 

After all it is ONLY about not drinking alcohol. That’s all. You also need to be happy about it. Never fear, without alcohol life is good. Life was not meant for artificial highs like alcohol. Without this illegal drug your life will be great. You will learn the experience of life. Learn how it was meant to be. You will live a life of natural highs and be happy. The same way people do who are not allergic to alcohol. You will not hear or read this information from mainstream media. Why? because of the advertisers. There’s to much money in it for them. Money from alcohol sales and from people wanting to get sober.

Here we explain each step so you will know why ‘working 12 steps’ after attending AA meetings needs to be avoided. You will learn why to void individually doing steps and why there are no results from doing them.

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – and that our lives had become unmanageable.

This is the only step out of the 12 that mentions alcohol. It’s the only one you need to be interested in. This step comes in two parts. The first part ‘We admitted we were powerless over alcohol‘ This is easy if already attending AA meetings. You have done the first part of the 1st Step. This happened when you walked through the doors of AA. Reason that is if alcohol was doing for us what we thought it was doing then AA is the last place to be going.

The second part of the first step is: ‘that our lives had become unmanageable’ If your life is unmanageable and alcohol has something to do with it then AA is the right place to be. To start making the life manageable, ON A DAILY BASIS. This means to not drink for that day. Go to a meeting and stay out of the old environment. That is not to associate with drinkers, or drug takers of the past. Make sure you eat properly and if you haven’t got a job get one. If you have got a job keep going. Don’t give it up. Stay till they sack you if that’s the way it is. It is the best option.

Life will change once you are on a track of getting sober. We are nice happy little people. It’s only alcohol that made us into people that we didn’t like. Let alone what anyone else thought. A person allergic to alcohol the victim of alcohol and not the perpetrator. You will not hear this said at AA meetings. They will talk about their defects of character. Say things like ‘we were liars’ or ‘we were selfish’ etc. many negative things. These people have no idea of the true nature of alcoholism.

12 Steps For A Primary Alcoholic is No Good When the Only Problem Is Alcohol.

Many of the people who frequent AA meetings will never get this. Because for whatever reason they don’t recognize it for what it is. More like they don’t want to recognize this simple fact. Why? One reason why is self interest. To have control over you. They can’t do this if you don’t believe you are sick.

Many who attend AA meetings are not alcoholics or secondary alcoholics at best. They in fact have something else wrong with them. They are not allergic to alcohol. Alcohol will never kill them. For them sobriety is not a matter of life and death. First impression when attending an AA meeting is that everyone is there for sobriety. Not true. Then why the hell would you attend AA meetings with sick people. Well, the reality is that many people attend for many and varied reasons. Some reasons are obvious and has briefly been explained here.

The people who don’t have sobriety to offer you are there to control you. They can only do this be having you pray and work steps for sobriety. They also control you by being your sponsor. They find out all about you this way and will have you working steps. Sobriety is not about that. Not at all. It’s not normal and it’s not a practical way of living. Especially not when all you need is to stop drinking alcohol and to get on with your life.

 

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What Is AA

Posted by admin on July 17, 2015
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AA is for someone who has a drinking problem. By attending AA meetings it’s like a visit to the Doctor to change thinking patterns of the mind. When they need “a check-up from the neck-up” as was once said in the early days in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)

Sobriety can be achieved by attending AA meetings on a regular basis. Alcoholics (someone allergic to alcohol) comes to get sober and to learn what to do next once they stop drinking. Stopping drinking is only a start to the journey of sobriety. To achieve sobriety it takes time. Members need time to grasp a new way of thinking and living and looking at the world.

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This doesn’t mean making AA a home. there’s very little sobriety in meetings these days. New members hoping to get sobriety information instead are told to pray and work steps. This problem is due to Doctors and Detox Centres and many institutions who are on the band wagon of making money from people wanting sobriety.

Also there’s no one to look after them. Instead what is happening now in AA is that people with no sobriety are opening up meetings and making AA their home. Sometimes they find a job because they’re not drinking now but this is the only thing that changes in their lives. Usually they have simply swapped drinking for working. They sit in meetings reading the big book and working steps and this action keeps the true alcoholic who visits their meeting, in the past. This is a same results as when drinking.

AA Prison Visits

Many will go on a roster to visit inmates in prison possibly under a delusion they can help someone. This is of course nonsense. God only knows what inmates are subjected to during such visits. They could only be reading the Big Book to them and telling them to work steps. This practice is of no value to people in prison or outside of prison.

AA members then have the problem of coping with people who come to meetings from prison and who have not been given correct information. They don’t even have basic information from outside visits on what to do when they do arrive at AA meetings.

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How An Alcoholic Blackout Will End A Relationship

Posted by admin on January 15, 2015
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This pic is not the real people in the post

Chatting recently with a woman on the train during our trip from the Blue Mountains to the City. She’s visiting her daughter who lives in the Eastern suburbs. Once settled she said she hopes her daughter had something nice to eat when she arrived. “She usually does”. Just to keep the chat flowing I ask if her daughter was married. Well… she said, it so happens… ‘ Well, ..it’s funny you should ask, ..but well …yes, she was married recently, but now she’s separated and is getting a divorce …and so the story unfolds…

Sue her daughter, married Harry only around 3 months earlier and now they’re getting a divorce.

She first met Harry, a Fijian, and fairly new to Australia, and he seemed quite nice. He’s quite religious and Sue sometimes visited his church gatherings with him for support. Harry sang a little and he once played the guitar at a gathering.

Romance blossomed and both in their mid 30’s wanted to marry quickly. Sue owned her Eastern Suburbs apartment and they lived there once married.

Her brother runs a construction company and he employed Harry in a reasonably responsible position. The job came with a company vehicle that Harry could use on weekends also with petrol paid by the company. Harry settled into his new job fairly well without taking too much time off.

The couple enjoyed evenings together at home after work and sometimes they had friends over on the weekends. The evening something happened, they were home alone relaxing after dinner, with a glass of scotch playing records. They danced a little to the music and Sue then decided to play a favorite song that she and her father loved singing together when he was alive.

Sue put it on and sang along with the words. Harry listened intently and appeared to like it also. He gave Sue the thumbs up but then soon after the gesture changed to a thumbs down. Sue rather shocked, moved quickly to turn off the song, while at the same time asked Harry, “What does that mean?”

Soluble in Alcohol

Well, she doesn’t know what happened after that but she recalls being pinned down on the floor with Harry sitting on her. She cried out, ‘Don’t hit me, please don’t hit me’. She could feel the pain in her arm. Harry suddenly ripped off her clothing and with her only wearing pajamas she was naked. She thought he was going to rape her but he didn’t. Instead he shouted for her to book him a flight to Fiji.

Still pinned Sue reached for her mobile phone and tried to get online. She realized she couldn’t connect because her hands were shaking so much. She told Harry she would have to use the computer to book his flight . She didn’t think he’d let her up to do it but he did, and so she booked his one way ticket to Fiji for that night. A $600 ticket that he never used.

Sue managed to call her brother also, she needed him to come over ASAP. Desperately needing his support. He lives in outer Western suburbs and it took time for him to be there for her. While waiting Sue talked calmly to Harry. She assured him he could take the car to the airport and that she’d pick it up later and so he need not worry about leaving it.

She’s desperately checking to see how soon her brother would be before he gets there.

“I’m not far away now” he said. When he arrived he passed Harry outside near the car. The car door was open and in the light he could see Harry. He spoke briefly to him before heading inside to see sister Sue. After checking she’s okay he went back outside to talk with Harry but he was gone. Sue’s mum said that her son is probably sometimes a little racist and he came back inside and said to Sue that he couldn’t see Harry although he could still be in the shadows and he couldn’t see him because he’s black.

Harry did come back inside after a while and now with her brother there for support Sue told him how now he could see his daughter again, back in Fiji, and now with the money he will receive from her he can afford to send his daughter to a good school in Fiji.

The story was that Sue had a few dollars to protect when she married Harry and so had a per-nuptial agreement made up. The agreement was that Harry will receive $10.000 if the marriage broke down. Sue later told her mum that it is only $50 per year in Fiji to send a child to a ‘good school’.

Harry went back outside and later Sue and her brother went out to see that the car was gone. They guessed that Harry had taken it to the airport and caught his flight to Fiji.

Sue had photo’s taken of bruising and she laid assault charges.

It’s Over

Sue’s mum said her daughter told her later that Harry turned up again a couple of days later acting as if nothing had happened. It appeared to her that Harry thought their life would carry on as usual. Sue had to really spell it out to him that the marriage was over and that she was getting a divorce.

Now the Knowledge is Power on this blog interpretations of what had happened, and does happen regularly. This situation happens to people who are allergic to alcohol. They don’t know they are allergic to alcohol so are not aware of the effects. The average person would not recognise that alcohol caused Harry’s behavioral problem that night.  Fact is he had a personality change due to the alcohol. Not Sue’s mum, nor Sue nor her brother could guess that Harry had acted in an alcoholic blackout and that he had no recollection of what had happened that night.

Harry had an alcoholic blackout

Very few people can recognize an alcoholic blackout because there is very little info on it. The facts are deceiving.  Sue’s mum said they only had a small amounts from the scotch bottle that night and so it is understandable the problem is not identified as being directly related to alcohol.

Of course Harry could have had drinks before going home that night, but it can still happen this way if he didn’t. It’s virtually only people in Alcoholics Anonymous who can understand what has probably happened – and they are able to identify when the problem is alcoholism.

This knowledge comes from experience gained by attending AA meetings. We can safely say that a personality change happened to Harry. We can probably also safely say that it happened as a direct result of alcohol. Evidence is that Harry is a primary alcoholic He has destroyed a happy secure future for himself and he would have no idea why it happened. Sad but true that many similar cases happen everyday to people who drink and are allergic to alcohol.

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