alcoholic

How to Survive the AA Meetings Long Enough to Achieve Sobriety

Posted by admin on August 17, 2014
aa meetings / No Comments

We attended an AA meeting yesterday in the Western Suburbs and it was a doozy – as far as a sobriety rating goes it’s at the bottom of the barrel. The chairperson claiming 30 years sobriety and still has no idea how to chair a meeting properly. She called people with no sobriety and, not alcoholics, Instead she left sober people sitting there and she didn’t recognise any difference.aa_meeting

She called a sexual predator to speak and he’s not an alcoholic. He went on to brag from the floor that he was a thief and said he steals because, we are alcoholics. Thieving in sobriety is not sobriety and alcoholics are not thieves or criminals.

Before becoming sober AA members can not consciously distinguish the different between the types of people who regularly frequent AA meetings. Non alcoholics go to AA meetings for all sorts of reasons. They tell short-termers to believe that everyone is the same who attends the meetings but everyone is not the same. Not at all.

Many people frequent AA meetings for all sorts of reasons and unfortunately sobriety is not one of them. Alcoholics go for only one reason, and that’s sobriety. This difference causes a lot of damage to the people who go hoping to find answers to a genuine alcohol problem.

Chairing An AA Meeting

A chairperson can make a mistake by calling a non alcoholic however the damage can be minimized if they realizes the mistake and if they know who they are calling beforehand. This way a chairperson can minimize mistakes on who they are calling to speak.

Things were so different to the old days when new AA members had older sober members (OSM) to keep the nutters in check. They would point out the wrongs a non alcoholic spruik from the floor of AA meetings. The chairperson at yesterdays meeting instead didn’t recognise that someone with sobriety was offering good advice and instead she apologied to a (one) newcomer for interruptions by the OSM

Her disturbing remark of an OSM’s point of view, was that she hopes the disruption doesn’t deter them from coming back. Unfortunately she’s not smart enough to realize that many newcomers/short-termers have not come back due to the many nutters like this one, and that she was defending.

Facts are that 99.99% of people attend AA only once and they do not come back. That’s even though there is generally no interruptions from OSM’s or anyone else who may be offering advice or talking sense.

If someone gets up to talk and it is consistant of them talking about steps and saying that, we need to do this and we need to do that – then it is the duty of an older sober member (OSM) to intervene and to tell the person speaking to either tell their own story – or to sit down and let someone who needs to tell their story That consists of what it was like. what happened, and what it is like now.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The 27 Club and How Not To Become a Member

Posted by admin on August 15, 2014
27club / No Comments

You don’t always have to be a musician or celebrity to become a member of the 27 Club If you are allergic to alcohol and still drinking at 27 years of age then consider yourself lucky that you’re still alive. There are many who are not, including musicians and celebrities. Many go to AA who are under 30 but they don’t stay around. A lot of people are coming from Detox centres (called Rehabs in US) into AA meetings. Not long after that many become members of The 27 Club. They are dead. Black, White, Yellow, alcohol does not discriminate, as is shown here.

27club

If you’re allergic to alcohol and you’re still drinking by the late 20’s then life is usually really tough. An early death that’s alcohol related is very common. The statistics are hidden behind many other reasons for why they died. Some reason’s are, Traffic accidents, Suicides, Accidental deaths or Murdered. For Amy it was an alcoholic seizure at 24 years of age.

Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Alcohol puts alcoholics (people allergic to alcohol) in many dangerous situations. Many alcohol related deaths need to have the cause recorded as a direct result of alcohol. Some alcoholics are lucky enough to get to AA before they die.

30 years of age is usually the upper limit. They are then even luckier to be able to stay around in AA once they find a meeting. To survive they need to find an AA group where they can begin to learn how to get on track, to achieve sobriety. Sobriety means to be growing further away from the last drink.

If a short-termer (new member) coming to AA can stay around long enough they can then hopefully avoid becoming a statistic. If they’re a celebrity, they become a recognized member of the 27 Club.

Schoolies Week

I good place to start with awareness of a problem is to suggest to children leaving school to definitely NOT  attend Schoolies Week. This is a breeding ground for alcoholism. It’s such a dangerous time and place for kids to be a delicate time in their lives. They are not adults they are young people beginning an adult life. They need to learn how to make responsible decisions for their future. They could be allergic to alcohol and not know it.

What is the attraction with such a dark event as Schoolies Week anyway? In reality it’s just a big $$$ week for alcohol promoters and a week of madness for the kids who are expected to be binge drinking under the illusion of having a good time. For many of these kids life is never the same again and their plans for the future are gone and forgotten.

How many victims are able to stop drinking once Schoolies Week is over? No one really knows how badly kids are affected after this week of binge drinking. We believe no real statistics are taken. Certainly not made public. Marketers of alcohol probably hope none of the kids stop drinking for any length of time. Who cares if a few of them die along the way? Society is conditioned to say it’s their own fault anyway for being so stupid. We are living in an age where the victim is blamed for his own misfortune.

27 Club, Don’t Become a Member

Victims don’t always binge drink for an allergic reaction occur to alcohol. The alcohol effect on some kids, who are referred to as primary alcoholics on this blog, is that they die before they turn 30 years of age – if they can’t stop drinking before this. This fact could explain why so many become members of the 27club. They are people who died at 27.

We can’t say membership is a direct result of alcohol but we can say it does need to be noted that all of the victims/members were heavy drinkers of alcohol.

Amy Winehouse is about the only recorded member of The 27 Club who has had her death recorded as alcohol poisoning. It needs to be noted that alcohol is also the common denominator for all the other members of the club. This fact needs to be made aware. That is that alcohol is a contributing factor to the early death of ALL the musicians and celebrities of the 27Club. To have it recognized in this way may help to play a part in the awareness of the dangers of alcohol consumption and be a warning especially to kids who are leaving school and are considering going to the Schoolies Week binge drinking.

Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is the only place known  to have positive results with stopping drinking. Attending AA meetings is still no guarantee of survival though. You then need to learn how to survive AA. Reading all the posts on this blog can help to insure survival.

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

AA and How It Doesn’t Work

Posted by admin on July 12, 2014
A.A. / No Comments

Alcoholics are trying to get sober in AA by working steps and it doesn’t work. The success rate is nil but they keep telling a new lot that come in the same thing that sent the last lot to their grave. They come to AA and listen to the spiritualists by praying and working steps for sobriety. Instead of this helping them it puts the alcoholics head in the past. That’s where it is when they are drinking and so it’s not long before they are drinking again and not going to AA.

This happens to them because they start working steps and praying for sobriety:drunk_women

They become stuck in the past and this knocks their confidence in what they are doing in their day to day life in the here and now. Alkies will identify with that awful perturbing situation of being happy and positive one minute and negative and hating life the next. This is because they have shunted from a positive, head in today state, to a negative past thinking pattern – that only another sober alkie can get them out of. Sober alcoholics in AA are the only ones who will understand what has happened to them and they also recognise when this is happening to them, at the time.

It is a bit like when kids thinks that if they keep crying they will get something that they want. This works when you are a helpless baby but as you grow you learn different strategies of behaving and thinking that work better for getting what we want. We develop better strategies for different situations we are in, as we grow up.

In a similar scenario, an alkie is stuck with the thinking and strategies he learned while drinking. That is because he had surrounded himself with others like himself, and when he gets off the alcohol that same way of thinking is all he knows. Until he gets sober.

Until then he only has the old thinking to rely on and it is completely inappropriate for sober living. He is like Rip Van Winkle waking up from a long sleep in which he is in a world that has changed and he is completely out of step.

The alkie early on in sobriety only has the drinking strategies as a way of thinking and it takes time for him to get sober. This is done by living in the day, and doing it a day at a time. He needs time to learn to deal with life in a sober manner and to deal with it at the time life is happening.

He needs to be with sober people to get the help he needs to show him how to lay down the new thinking patterns and how the new strategies work so that they are then able to use the new strategies when future situations arises. They then replace the old way of thinking with a new sober way of thinking and behaving.

This learning can not be achieved by working steps and praying for sobriety. This will only send them nuts and back to drinking. This always happens after they have been flogging themselves to death with working steps and praying like a praying mantis. They then go back to drink again. Also very few get a second chance at coming back to AA and they die.

While getting sober in AA and while they are still not sober they will only have the old strategies of the past as a way of thinking. They need time to learn that all they have to do is ask sober people. Let them do their thinking for them in the beginning.

Problem is however that now very few sober people are around in AA these days! Working steps for sobriety has caused a huge gap in sobriety in AA because people are not staying sober. The vacuum has been filled with people coming to AA who are not alcoholics and do not understand what it takes to get one sober.

Alcoholics do not have a base as in having grown up and matured when they first arrive in AA. They only have the mad ideas, in most cases of a teenager who has been pickled and learned everything they know from black and white movies and from the other drunks in the pub.

So, they do not have the maturity to understand their past. They have no ability to pick a goodie from a baddie. Its a bit like if someone smiles at them they presume they are nice people and if they grimace they are bad.

They need time to get sober. This means to get sane and to mature. To grow up and this can only happen by walking away from what kept them drunk both physically and mentally and they need to learn to live in the day, by dealing with life on a daily basis.

They need the help of someone who has got out of the hole themselves. Someone who can show them how to do the same. Thereby laying down new foundation of information in their memories. New foundations that will work for them rather than them using the old information that kept them drunk and it did not work for them anyway.

Religion and God are a personal thing. It has a different perception for everybody and everyone has their own personal understanding and belief in what God is.  It stands to reason therefor that if everybody is talking about a different perception then this type of thinking has no place in AA for alcoholics wanting to get sober – how can it?

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Heavy Drinkers Have No Life Experiences When They Arrive In AA

Posted by admin on July 11, 2014
alcoholism / No Comments

Heavy drinkers usually arrive to support groups with no experience of life except for situations that drinking puts them in and of work related experiences, in many cases. This is because booze has such an effect on us that there is nothing else in our lives.  Alcohol generally has taken complete control and when we get to AA we need to, learn to live in the day. Learn to think positive. Learn how to manage life, bills, our accommodation, finding suitable work, getting along with people. We usually have no idea about life and most of us know it.

The alcoholic is not an idiot. He usually knows the problems he has where living is concerned, hence the terror at the prospect of living without right_way_wrong_way_signbooze, as most of us know, we have no idea how to do that.

Other people in AA who are not like the real alkie do not have this problem. They have had successful relationships before they crossed the thin red line. They talk about this in the meetings.

While alcohol has been an issue for them, they can pick up their old life when they stop drinking and carry on.

The women with sex problems who come to AA also can pick up on their old lifestyle by latching onto someone in AA (hopefully someone who is sober) to satisfy their needs. This is usually done in secret and they then live as a married person with an OSM. They virtually have their thinking done for them as far as thinking about, bills, accommodation, meals being ready for them when they come home from work and then to get to a meeting each night.

The real alkie who comes to AA to get sober as a single person seldom has anything to salvage from the past. Their partner, if they have one, is someone they met while drinking. Their partner married a drunk, and so will not even recognise them as a sober alkie. Not be recognised as the person they married but as someone different. This is a problem for the alkie. Usually the partner is also someone who drinks which means the sober alkie has to get out of their way. That is if they want to stay alive.

Old mates of the alkie likewise are generally drunks too. Who else but another drunk would put up with active alcoholism? With someone who’s life is in ruin and is run by alcohol?

These are very clear differences between the real alcoholic and the other people who come to AA. Alcoholics, to get sober, need to be managing their thinking on a minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day basis, until we have put enough days in to have picked up enough experience of living life without alcohol, to gain a bit of sober living experience.

That shows us that life can be good without drink and then if we continue to get sober and attend meetings we will gradually pick up the living experience we did not get while drinking. This then results in us becoming the people we would have been had we never drank. It’s as simple as that.

Alkies are not sexual predators, criminals, psychopaths, drug addicts and we are unlike any of these types that also find their way to AA and lets face it – they have a right to be there too as they are safer sober than drunk. The danger though is for the real alcoholic in AA because this information, that not all are alcoholics and there for the same reason is not out in the open and so they listen to people doing daily steps to keep their other urges under control. When the alkie like in the other articles on this blog  so rightly states. Alcoholics need to live in the day, and stay away from the past all together which is also the old environment.

There are no answers there for them and it is impossible for him/her to get sober while trying to be two people. Alcoholism is a mental thing for us and we are not mentally able to be the person we were and carry on old relationships with the past while getting sober and living a sober life.

Interestingly, it is now widely known in the world of psychology that retrospection does not solve any problems unless there is a cause to the issue – i.e. someone was abused as a kid, beaten up by their family – an issue that causes a particular reaction.  In this instance there may be some benefit in knowing the cause and replacing the pictures created in the mind so that a new reaction can occur.

This is not the situation for alkies coming to AA to get sober. Instead they need to learn a new way of thinking and not to be re-hashing the past when what happened to them happened because they were an alcoholic and it couldn’t have been any other way when they are drinking. This is because alcohol and so therefor other people are in control of their lives when they are drinking. By getting sober they need to learn to take control of their own lives, usually for the first time. Contrary to what the spiritualists will tell them to, ‘hand it over’

No different from when they were drinking so is why they do not survive long enough to get sober on this dud information.

Tags: , , , , , ,

Working Steps Did Not Work For Bill Wilson or Dr Bob

Posted by admin on July 06, 2014
12 steps of aa / No Comments

I have been sober in AA for 25 years and have met many thousands of people in AA rooms over the years in meetings all around the world. I think the first thing to consider here in relation to an article on this blog that AA works by keeping it simple.

The 12 steps, did not work for Bill Wilson or Doctor Bob nor the first “100” original members – Fact – have a look at the Archives. Wilson experimented with all sorts of pills, treatments and LSD and was a serial womaniser.  He did not get “sober”.  Sober being sane and happy

Dr Bob

Dr Bob

without alcohol.  Wilson was never happy. Instead he suffered from depression all of his life and even after coming to AA.  It could be said that his medicine did not work for him because it turns out that he too was an alcoholic who did not, at that time, know that retrospection without a solution is of no use to anyone.

It is impossible for a real alcoholic to stay of drink without being on a track of getting sober. This is because they go mad and they “need” to drink.  hence the saying “you may leave these rooms and “need” never drink again”.  You don’t need to drink if you find a new way of living life without alcohol.  The alcoholic has nothing once alcohol is gone and needs a solution immediately. Not years of therapy and working steps. That doesn’t work.

He needs an immediate answer so that he “need” not drink.  For the alkie that answer has to be something to put in place of his old thinking immediately – hence “forget the past, yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery – if you are dead none of it matters anyway so deal only with right here and now and concentrate on staying alive and getting through the day in a way that makes you feel you can do it again tomorrow.  Personally had I been told I was full of character defects, selfish to the core, and basically that it was all my fault, I would have felt it better to top myself.  Luckily the people who helped me where real alcoholics who knew that alcohol was the problem and that I like all new alkies to AA have no idea how to live without booze and need to learn everything from scratch one day at a time.

The 12 steps do not work for the real alcoholics because their problem is alcohol and the thinking patterns created by their life of living as an alcoholic.
The steps presume that they are dealing with someone who drank because of something and if they get to the root of it the person wont need to drink – this is not the case with an alkie who is allergic to alcohol and once hooked it twists their thinking because of the mental effect it has – personality change, blackouts, causes them to cover their tracks, be confused and paranoid the next day, in some cases be so mixed up mentally that they have to put on a daily facade that becomes a habit they live with while drinking which is why when they do get sober in aa they need to learn to live in the day in reality and need the help of other sober alcoholics to steer them in the right direction – there is no answers for them in the past only in the day dealing with the facts and getting answers to their daily problems so that they do not build up the tension they are so used to from their drinking lives that causes them to see no other answer than to blow out and have another drink.

When they come to AA they have to learn to think differently.  For the alcoholic that means living in reality, thinking positive, living a sober life away from other active alcoholics – their old friends and family who all knew the “old” person.

The new sober alcoholic has to have time to “grow into the new sober person and cannot do this while trying to live the old life – this is a killer for alcoholics and the previous web post is so right – many thousands of us die after coming to AA because they are shunted into the past by mad people who have no idea what it is like to actually be a real alcoholic where the problem is alcoholism.

Real alcoholics do not usually have a problem with relationships – we have seldom had any except with the booze, we do not have a problem with sex – again it was not our main priority when drinking, we do not have a problem with selfishness, character defects, feelings  or the myriad other rubbish they talk in meetings.  Real alcoholics are just that – alcoholics – people who have not grown up because of the effects of alcohol and generally who land in AA when the alcohol stops working – no more blackouts, and personality change, instead are left with 24 hour madness that nothing relieves. They can suddenly have a moment of clarity and realised that booze is killing them.

This is a time when they get to AA and if they don’t they don’t have much time left to live.

Tags: , , , , , ,