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Reflections Group: Doesn’t Reflect on Sobriety

Posted by admin on April 04, 2017
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Some AA Meetings has a Reflections group format stated as an AA meeting. Primary’s (allergic to alcohol) don’t get sober at these meetings. Instead they are very often turned off from going to meetings at all, they are so bad.

Some say that only 1% of people who walk through the doors of AA will stay long enough to get sober. Media reports sometimes say anything up to 10% of the people introduced to AA stay. This percentage is false. For a starter they’re only guessing a percentage because there’s no way of knowing how many people walk through the doors.

AA’s foundation is anonymity. No records are kept and so no one knows who comes or who goes. However even if 1% stay the walls of AA meetings would be bulging with happy sober people. They are not, instead meetings are closing down due to lack of members.
A member reported recently attending a Daily Reflections group meeting and noted how wrong things were. Wrong in the way that the meeting was not in line with the original format of AA meetings. Primaries (people allergic to alcohol) will not get sober at these types of meetings and they need to be avoided at all cost. These types meetings will send an alcoholic nuts, therefor these meetings kill alcoholics.

The wrongs of Reflection Groups:

1. Reflection groups only go for an hour. Traditional AA meetings always go for an hour and a half. Meetings would only start at 8pm, so people who work can attend. It’s so important for people to be work when getting sober. They have travel time, time to eat, and time to find the meeting before it starts if they haven’t been before.

2. Daily Reflections meetings (meeting weekly) are not set up properly. One had around 45 people in attendance. The secretary had them sit in not one but 3 circles. 3 circles around with the chairman sitting in the middle.

This meant that people in the outer circle and middle circle were talking to everyone’s back. The people sitting inner circle were talking to people on the other side of the chairman and to the people behind them. Virtually no eye contact for anyone. It was hard to see who was talking most of the time. They have to be blockheads running the meeting. Not alcoholics.

The chairman started the meeting by reading Chapter 5 of the Big Book, How It Works (how it doesn’t work it should be). Luckily he read at a reasonable speed. Sometimes it’s a slow process for a variety of reasons that we won’t go into right now. The meeting went only for an hour. Next he asked someone to read out the 12 Traditions. Then after that another book called “Daily Reflections”.

3. Then back to the chairman who’s now ready to start the meeting. He reminded people it’s only an hour meeting so they needed to ‘share the time. There were 40 to 45 people and after the readings they had 40 minutes left to speak. That is absolutely crazy.

4. Out of the 8 or so people who go to speak only 1 or 2 briefly identified – meaning told a little of their story. The rest with a few minutes each to speak, instead of telling their story, praised god. For what, who knows?

Panic Attack

One women in her 5 minutes said she was sober for a short time. She now has god in her life due to ‘doing the steps’ and said ‘that is lovely.’ In the next breath she said that, just last week, she had a Panic Attack. She thought she was going to die. She knew what was happening because she had them before.

It was so sad because she did not relate her results (the panic attack) to what she was doing. The women couldn’t see she was not getting sober. The panic attack was a direct result of what she was doing. God is not the right one to be seeking help from in the meetings. This point is often lost.

No time to identify

The next person asked to speak is a male. He simply praised god for him being there, and so it went on. Many said the same as each other. One bloke had a 1st birthday and so during the 40 minute meeting a Birthday Card went around for everyone to sign. This often happens at meetings and it’s so very distracting.

Having sobriety birthdays is so silly. On closing the meeting everyone formed a large circle by holding hands and before saying the Serenity Prayer to close they sang happy birthday to the bloke who’s a year sober. Wacky do! …won’t see him next year.

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How To Survive Your First AA Meeting.

Posted by admin on October 08, 2013
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In NSW an AA meeting usually goes for an hour and a half. Some will only go for an hour in other states and in NZ. Some UK and USA meetings are an hour as well. The meeting/group will consist of a secretary, who appoints a chairperson from their group to chair the meeting.

If the secretary does not have a group member to go in the chair then you know that this group is not keeping people sober. A problem for you in early sobriety is that if you arrive early to the meeting then they are liable to ask you to go in the chair and will do this without any woman-sitting-at-barconsideration as to how new you may be. Most of them don’t know how to look after a short-termer

Advice is don’t arrive too early so you won’t be asked and don’t chair any of the meeting even if you are asked. Give an excuse that you may need to leave early if someone comes to pick you up. The meetings usually consist of group members as well as visitors from other groups in attendance.

The chairpersons job is to calls members in attendance to speak. When called to speak each person will get up, usually stand out the front and tell their story of what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now.

It is also called to ‘share’ and means the same thing as to speak. When you are called go out and spend usually around 10 to 15 minutes or more if you need more time to tell your story. Remember the most important person there is you. Don’t forget that.

Guidelines for new people, sometimes called short-termers,  is for you to tell your story like in 3 stages. They may be short to begin with but once your head starts to clear up you will remember more of what alcohol did to you.

1. Start your story from when you had your first drink of alcohol, as an adult, not as a child. Many alcoholics start drinking from around the age of 14 or 15 years old, from high school. Start your story from here if you first started drinking while still at school and remember what it did to you.

2. Tell how alcohol got you to AA. What happened.

3. In the third stage it should be the positive part.  Tell about what you’ve been doing to stay sober since attending AA meetings. Tell how, on a daily basis you are staying sober and tell how long you have been sober. This positive part of your story is what you need for today to keep you positive in your thinking, and if you keep on staying sober, on a daily basis then this positive experience will keep going, day after day. So different to when drinking.

Tell how long since your last drink in your story and realise this is not for no ones benefit but your own. The repetition of you telling your story is what keeps you sober, on a daily basis. By doing this it pulls you positive in your thinking and this will help you to stay sober for that day and until you attend another meeting tomorrow. One meeting a day is necessary in the early days of sobriety. Attending only ID meetings is recommended for the best results. If you are not working yet then attend 2 meetings a day. A lunchtime one and an 8pm night meeting.

When attending meetings don’t for one minute make the mistake of thinking any are good meetings. They are not. Simply because people are not staying sober. The meetings are all bad so don’t have any delusions about that. Recognise also that the majority of people in attendance are mad.

When you attend AA meetings and start thinking the meeting are good then recognise that you are mad and not seeing things as they really are. Being mad is acceptable for you in early days because this is what alcohol does to you. You need time to get sober. Recognise that you wouldn’t be there if you were not mad.

Other people in attendance of the meetings can be mad for other reasons and not necessarily due to alcohol. Some people will tell you from the floor that they are mad. It’s important to know how sober they are. This tells you a lot about them.

One thing to remember in the meetings is that people will give you the impression they are nice and they like you, and will want to be your sponsor etc. That is until they realise they can’t control you. They will try to control you with religion and/or spiritualism. They control by suggesting you get a sponsor and start working steps, and do step 4 and say you must pray for sobriety. This is not true and it doesn’t work for alcoholics.

If they tell you to work steps tell them you are still on the first step. Staying on the first step is what you must do in order to survive AA. Once the spiritualists and step workers realise they can’t control you they will change towards you and are nasty and will try to sink you. This hurdle is something you will have to stand your ground on and don’t let them send you mad by having you praying for sobriety.

From the floor when telling your story or when you’re talking to them be careful not to tell them anything about yourself or what you are doing. None of them tell you what they are doing, you will notice, so tell them nothing. This is important and especially if you are a professional person. Don’t let them know. They will hang around for what they can get and send you mad. Also don’t socialize with them after the meeting, by going with them for coffee. At least not until you get to know them and join their group.

When your new to AA don’t forget that most of the people there at these meetings are mad. You will hear and see this once your head starts to clear up. Listen to the stories and listen for identification. I.e. People who are like you and are sober and happy, without any problems. Do what they are doing to get similar results to them.

If anyone called to speak does not have a drinking story then you can not tell if they are an alcoholic or not. Many people who attend AA don’t have drinking storys and so you can not identify with them, …unfortunately. It’s safer to stay way from them.

You will survive AA if you keep it simple by staying on the first step. Attend meetings on a daily basis, and stay out of the old environment and stay away from mugs. If you’re not sure what a mug is, you only need to think about how you were when you were drinking. Stay away from people who are not sober.

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