aa meetings

What Is Sobriety?

Posted by admin on October 15, 2015
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AA has changed, and not for the better. AA has been hijacked and in more ways then one. Alcoholics Anonymous used to be unique. It was a fellowship where people could go to stop drinking alcohol and be happy about it. It was a place where they had people to help them and to look out for them. Alcoholics once had a chance at getting sober. VLUU L100, M100 / Samsung L100, M100

Not anymore though. In the past few years AA has been raped, pillaged, pulled apart, and commercialized. What’s worse is that no one has noticed. Here’s my comments and questions on last nights meeting:

  • The secretary changed the theme of the meeting from ID to Speakers Meeting and presented a guest speaker who has no sobriety.
  • And he has no sobriety  himself.
  • We heard a woman tell her story with 30 men in attendance and only one other women from a Detox Centre.
  • The speaker was not asked any questions after her talk.
  • Does she have anything to offer, if so what is it?
  • Some ID meetings like this one are becoming replaced with ‘topics’ meetings and are unrelated to problems associated with alcoholism. How then can anyone get sober?
  • The secretary has no sobriety and this meeting has no older sober members (OSM) to guide members on what is right and what is the wrong thing to be doing.
  • Members were not asked to speak but spoke at random.
  • All members in attendance who spoke after the guest speaker also had no sobriety.
  • Sobriety was not offered at this meeting and therefor it had no purpose.
  • This meeting should be closed.

AA is no longer focused on sobriety and this was quite obvious at the meeting last night. To make it worse this meeting is not listed as anything other then an AA ID meeting. AA is all about identification (ID) and nothing else. That is of people getting up and telling their story of What it was like, What happened and What it is like now.

What was wrong at last nights meeting:

So now we have a situation of unsuspecting visitors turning up to a meeting and are confronted with a situation they did not expect to be happening. That is not Alcoholics Anonymous, far from it. This situation is a direct opposite to what AA used to be like. Alcoholics who attended knew what to expect which was one reason why it worked so well. They had stability instead of the instability they had in life when they were drinking. The alcoholics would go to AA meeting expecting to find sobriety and why else would you go? Instead now we have a situation where people go to AA meetings for all sorts of reasons other then sobriety. The main reason being for sex. yes we have sexual predators, looking for sick women, and men.

Guest speaker had no sobriety so what value would be in asking her to be a guest speaker at an AA meeting? Answer: None.
1. The meeting changed to a speakers meeting without it being listed as such in the online AA meetings list. a guest speaker who had nothing to offer in the way of sobriety. Why? Because she was not sober and had no idea of the concept. She simply told her story which took up half an hour of an hour meeting. She didn’t speak for 1/2 an hour but between her and the chairperson reading from a book a chapter that used to be called, “How It Works’ That term isn’t used anymore in their reading. How it works has been hijacked as a term for just about everyone and everything online, as an introduction to their particular niche or topic.

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How to Survive the AA Meetings Long Enough to Achieve Sobriety

Posted by admin on August 17, 2014
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We attended an AA meeting yesterday in the Western Suburbs and it was a doozy – as far as a sobriety rating goes it’s at the bottom of the barrel. The chairperson claiming 30 years sobriety and still has no idea how to chair a meeting properly. She called people with no sobriety and, not alcoholics, Instead she left sober people sitting there and she didn’t recognise any difference.aa_meeting

She called a sexual predator to speak and he’s not an alcoholic. He went on to brag from the floor that he was a thief and said he steals because, we are alcoholics. Thieving in sobriety is not sobriety and alcoholics are not thieves or criminals.

Before becoming sober AA members can not consciously distinguish the different between the types of people who regularly frequent AA meetings. Non alcoholics go to AA meetings for all sorts of reasons. They tell short-termers to believe that everyone is the same who attends the meetings but everyone is not the same. Not at all.

Many people frequent AA meetings for all sorts of reasons and unfortunately sobriety is not one of them. Alcoholics go for only one reason, and that’s sobriety. This difference causes a lot of damage to the people who go hoping to find answers to a genuine alcohol problem.

Chairing An AA Meeting

A chairperson can make a mistake by calling a non alcoholic however the damage can be minimized if they realizes the mistake and if they know who they are calling beforehand. This way a chairperson can minimize mistakes on who they are calling to speak.

Things were so different to the old days when new AA members had older sober members (OSM) to keep the nutters in check. They would point out the wrongs a non alcoholic spruik from the floor of AA meetings. The chairperson at yesterdays meeting instead didn’t recognise that someone with sobriety was offering good advice and instead she apologied to a (one) newcomer for interruptions by the OSM

Her disturbing remark of an OSM’s point of view, was that she hopes the disruption doesn’t deter them from coming back. Unfortunately she’s not smart enough to realize that many newcomers/short-termers have not come back due to the many nutters like this one, and that she was defending.

Facts are that 99.99% of people attend AA only once and they do not come back. That’s even though there is generally no interruptions from OSM’s or anyone else who may be offering advice or talking sense.

If someone gets up to talk and it is consistant of them talking about steps and saying that, we need to do this and we need to do that – then it is the duty of an older sober member (OSM) to intervene and to tell the person speaking to either tell their own story – or to sit down and let someone who needs to tell their story That consists of what it was like. what happened, and what it is like now.

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How To Survive Your First AA Meeting.

Posted by admin on October 08, 2013
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In NSW an AA meeting usually goes for an hour and a half. Some will only go for an hour in other states and in NZ. Some UK and USA meetings are an hour as well. The meeting/group will consist of a secretary, who appoints a chairperson from their group to chair the meeting.

If the secretary does not have a group member to go in the chair then you know that this group is not keeping people sober. A problem for you in early sobriety is that if you arrive early to the meeting then they are liable to ask you to go in the chair and will do this without any woman-sitting-at-barconsideration as to how new you may be. Most of them don’t know how to look after a short-termer

Advice is don’t arrive too early so you won’t be asked and don’t chair any of the meeting even if you are asked. Give an excuse that you may need to leave early if someone comes to pick you up. The meetings usually consist of group members as well as visitors from other groups in attendance.

The chairpersons job is to calls members in attendance to speak. When called to speak each person will get up, usually stand out the front and tell their story of what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now.

It is also called to ‘share’ and means the same thing as to speak. When you are called go out and spend usually around 10 to 15 minutes or more if you need more time to tell your story. Remember the most important person there is you. Don’t forget that.

Guidelines for new people, sometimes called short-termers,  is for you to tell your story like in 3 stages. They may be short to begin with but once your head starts to clear up you will remember more of what alcohol did to you.

1. Start your story from when you had your first drink of alcohol, as an adult, not as a child. Many alcoholics start drinking from around the age of 14 or 15 years old, from high school. Start your story from here if you first started drinking while still at school and remember what it did to you.

2. Tell how alcohol got you to AA. What happened.

3. In the third stage it should be the positive part.  Tell about what you’ve been doing to stay sober since attending AA meetings. Tell how, on a daily basis you are staying sober and tell how long you have been sober. This positive part of your story is what you need for today to keep you positive in your thinking, and if you keep on staying sober, on a daily basis then this positive experience will keep going, day after day. So different to when drinking.

Tell how long since your last drink in your story and realise this is not for no ones benefit but your own. The repetition of you telling your story is what keeps you sober, on a daily basis. By doing this it pulls you positive in your thinking and this will help you to stay sober for that day and until you attend another meeting tomorrow. One meeting a day is necessary in the early days of sobriety. Attending only ID meetings is recommended for the best results. If you are not working yet then attend 2 meetings a day. A lunchtime one and an 8pm night meeting.

When attending meetings don’t for one minute make the mistake of thinking any are good meetings. They are not. Simply because people are not staying sober. The meetings are all bad so don’t have any delusions about that. Recognise also that the majority of people in attendance are mad.

When you attend AA meetings and start thinking the meeting are good then recognise that you are mad and not seeing things as they really are. Being mad is acceptable for you in early days because this is what alcohol does to you. You need time to get sober. Recognise that you wouldn’t be there if you were not mad.

Other people in attendance of the meetings can be mad for other reasons and not necessarily due to alcohol. Some people will tell you from the floor that they are mad. It’s important to know how sober they are. This tells you a lot about them.

One thing to remember in the meetings is that people will give you the impression they are nice and they like you, and will want to be your sponsor etc. That is until they realise they can’t control you. They will try to control you with religion and/or spiritualism. They control by suggesting you get a sponsor and start working steps, and do step 4 and say you must pray for sobriety. This is not true and it doesn’t work for alcoholics.

If they tell you to work steps tell them you are still on the first step. Staying on the first step is what you must do in order to survive AA. Once the spiritualists and step workers realise they can’t control you they will change towards you and are nasty and will try to sink you. This hurdle is something you will have to stand your ground on and don’t let them send you mad by having you praying for sobriety.

From the floor when telling your story or when you’re talking to them be careful not to tell them anything about yourself or what you are doing. None of them tell you what they are doing, you will notice, so tell them nothing. This is important and especially if you are a professional person. Don’t let them know. They will hang around for what they can get and send you mad. Also don’t socialize with them after the meeting, by going with them for coffee. At least not until you get to know them and join their group.

When your new to AA don’t forget that most of the people there at these meetings are mad. You will hear and see this once your head starts to clear up. Listen to the stories and listen for identification. I.e. People who are like you and are sober and happy, without any problems. Do what they are doing to get similar results to them.

If anyone called to speak does not have a drinking story then you can not tell if they are an alcoholic or not. Many people who attend AA don’t have drinking storys and so you can not identify with them, …unfortunately. It’s safer to stay way from them.

You will survive AA if you keep it simple by staying on the first step. Attend meetings on a daily basis, and stay out of the old environment and stay away from mugs. If you’re not sure what a mug is, you only need to think about how you were when you were drinking. Stay away from people who are not sober.

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12 Steps of AA – Do They Work ?

Posted by admin on September 12, 2013
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Janine is a heavy drinker and not an alcoholic. She said, but I am not so sure she’s not. In an article she said,  AA killed her marriage

Now why then does she blame AA for killing her marriage? – Is it because:

* Her husband stopped drinking with AA, ..or because
* He went to regular AA meetings, …or is it because…

* He started working the 12 steps of AA
* In the article its stated that, he had a personality change and apparently the change was not for the better – in her opinion. Instead she states, We simply could not live together, because when people do get sober, they change radically.aa_survival_2

Well of course alcoholics change radically if they have an opportunity to get sober. It’s obvious that Bruno attending AA meetings and staying out of the old environment does not suite Janine. She instead wants him to be drinking.

Once Bruno stops drinking he will start to get sober. It takes 5 to 7 years. He will then becomes the person he wanted to be before alcohol took control of his life.

Oh, and it’s important to note that he will still be exciting.  That is to someone who loved him and not just his pay packet and unpredictable lifestyle. The right person is not another drunk in his life. He will die if he stays with her if she is drinking.

Facts are obviously not important to Janine. Instead it’s all about her, and what she wants. Basically she doesn’t want to lose her drinking partner.  Signs that she is an alcoholic as well. Her story about Bruno is that, He started to drink to numb the fear, the pain…

That excuse simply does not cut it. Alcoholics drink because they are alcoholics and don’t need any other reason. And when they are ready they must go to AA if they want to get sober. they do this by telling their own story, not have it told by someone else. When getting sober he simply can not afford to be in a relationship with someone who is drinking. An alcoholic must get out of the old environment for him to survive AA and to get sober.

Janine states Bruno wants to get sober and she’s wrong in her belief as to why alcoholics need to get sober by attending AA. meetings. It is known that health reasons alone will not stop them drinking alcohol. Facts are that when drinking they have no choice but to drink unless they are going to AA. This is one of the differences between drug addicts and alcoholics. Addicts take drugs because they choose to and once an alcoholic starts to drink he continues because he has to. He can not stay stoped for any length of time unless he attends AA meetings. Also if he does not stop drinking fairly quickly he will die. AA is the only thing known that has results with getting people sober.

Janine said she, was the girl with the broken wing, Possibly she needs to considered the possibility that she is an alcoholic as well.

If not then he did need to leave her, for his own good. The older sober members (OSM) of AA call people like her a, lame duck. (she obviously has something wrong with her) Something else wrong besides an alcohol problem. It’s strongly advised that anyone wanting to get sober in AA can not afford to have lame ducks around them.

Her article is about his problem however we can assume SHE continued to drink after Bruno stopped drinking and started attending AA meetings. Well then, of course she wouldn’t fit in with his new sober friends. She does she say she even slows down her drinking during this time.

Still drinking while Bruno is trying to stay sober. No wonder the marriage broke down. Also note in her article she still associated with the drunks of the past and she actually criticizes Bruno for not wanting to do the same.

Janine’s complaint is not the fault of AA. Her readers who didn’t know better would be inclined to believe her when she said that, AA killed her marriage, Instead of knowing that it is her, continuing to drink that killed the marriage.

Janine said, He was drinking every single night, not sleeping and sinking into a hopeless depression, the result of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder… before he attended AA meetings.

She doesn’t recognise that he is sober due to AA. The issues he has other then alcoholism is not the concern of AA members. They are not equipped to deal with health problems that are not AA related, such as, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, due to the war.

Janine did admit Bruno is successful at not drinking due to him attending AA meetings. She then said he also began working the 12 steps of AA.

Interesting to note she doesn’t say anything against him working steps. We are to assume she thinks that’s okay. On the other hand if she said this is when the problem started, this would be understandable, but she doesn’t say his working the 12 steps was any sort of a problem.

Instead she said, I went to an AA Christmas party, and while everyone was friendly and welcoming, it was clear they set a wall between ‘us and them. What would Janine be doing at an AA function if she was not an alcoholic? And what kind of wall? Is her problem that AA people were not drinking alcohol? I

If she’s not complaining about him working steps, then what is the complaint?

Let it be known that sober alcoholics are normal people. They do not have a wall between themselves and normal people in society. They do on the other hand learn that they must avoid nutters who drink. She obviously fits this category.

She is complaining her husband chooses not to associate with her friends who are drunks. Then she says this killed her marriage along with him attending Alcoholics Anonymous.

She states she is not an alcoholic but yet she would rather her marriage fall apart then to give up alcohol herself. Obviously she would rather be in a smelly saloon bar. The pubs and bars are the smelly and rough places, not the church halls she says are smelly and where AA meetings are held.

She really is delusional and in denial of her own drinking problems.

 

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Spiritualists in AA Meetings

Posted by admin on December 04, 2011
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The spiritualists and the step workers in AA meetings will do what they can to sink alcoholics. Reason for this is because they can not control an alcoholic. Spiritualists will pretend to be nice towards an alcoholic however once they realize they can not control them with religion and working steps they will then try to sink the alcoholic.

They also try to control alcoholics by telling them they have to be getting god and have to be praying. This is another tactic for control. They are a nasty lot. Alcohol is not their problem. Alcoholics can not afford to be wasting time by trying to work out what their problem is. All alcoholics need to remember is that these people are not like them and to stay away from them.

Dr.’s and counsellors have a lot to answer to for sending these people who are not alcoholics to AA meetings.

Most hospitals closed the psychiatric wings a few years ago. When this happened they did not know what to do with the mental patients. They could not have them roaming the streets. They had to find somewhere for them to go. They asked each one of them individually if they ever had a drink. If they said they had had one the Dr told them to go to AA.

If the patient did not like the idea of going to AA meetings the doctors and social workers talked them into it by saying something like, “Look, you will meet people who are like yourself. I have sent a few of your friends there so you should meet some. In the meetings they call you to speak and you can talk your head off about yourself.

They clap you when you have finished, they shake your hand and tell you to keep coming back. You get a biscuit most times and a cup of tea. You can put 20 cents in the hat when it comes around if you like. If you don’t no one will worry.”

Who are the idiots when these people are called to speak? They have no drinking story and they don’t do anything outside of AA. Meaning they use AA as their social life. They are just little nutters who have found a home in AA, so to speak.

The patent has often said to his Doctor, ‘But I don’t drink alcohol, not very often anyway.’ “Doesn’t matter” says the Doctor, “because you are on medication, I know you are because I put you on it. Because of this it will be good for you to try to cut down drinking alcohol. Only for a while, and while you are on the medication. It doesn’t really matter too much if you don’t stop drinking as long as you have a desire to stop drinking – you are entitled to go to AA meetings.”

The problem with non alcoholics doing meetings is that this confuses the true alcoholic. They end up praying and working steps as the non alcoholics are doing. They don’t last and have a humungous bust.

The people who are masquerading in AA as alcoholics lessen the chance of the alcoholics surviving in AA. If he doesn’t make it in AA he will die. No if’s or buts about it. This is what is happening on a regular basis. Who cares? I don’t think anyone does…

The alcoholic is likely to think he is in the wrong place and so he leaves AA. What he doesn’t realise is that it is not him but it is them who are in the wrong place.

What also happens is that when a secretary of a meeting does not know what he is doing and is liable to put a nutter in the chair of an AA meeting. They then proceed to call other nutters to speak. The ones they identify with and they leave the alcoholic sitting there. He is ignored more times than not. The newcomers are left on their own to fend for themselves. No one even talks to them for a lot of the time.

The short-termer/ new-comer need to be able to sort out the oats from the chaff and he needs to do it very quickly. The new-comers need to know that not all people in AA are alcoholics and in fact these days very few people in AA are alcoholics.

The challenge for the alcoholics is to find people like themselves and who are sober and getting on with their lives. This is not an easy task because people like themselves are just not staying around long enough to become sober.

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